I did the thing

And I also failed to do the thing. I’ve been to a few classes at the gym, which seems mostly like a funny metaphor. Like, I used to go to a gym regularly, and sorta at least figured out what I was doing. Or I was at least doing similar shit to other people who were also there, and at some point, I was fitter than when I started.

Good thing I didn’t expect that this time. First of all, this isn’t your gym where you go and hop on your treadmill or elliptical, then pick up something kinda heavy and put it down again. Second of all, I am in a shape, but I wouldn’t call it in shape. But the process of learning is good, or valuable, or at least advancing my knowledge of what my body willingly will do and will protest about. The knees protested an apparently basic hike this past weekend, but I listened to them and decided to head back to the trail head and wait it out, rather than persisting. Mostly because I wanted to walk this week. And I can, which is a bonus.

Most of the time, I actually feel completely lost. I don’t know how to do the stuff. and people are really nice about trying to provide some guidance, but it’s clear it’s going to take years, not months, to get a clue. Granted, I’ve only been at this for 2 weeks. And I tend to be a bit self-critical, but really, it’s gonna take years. I hope it’s not a parallel metaphor for getting another job. Because I would like to make that happen a little faster than not. In the meantime, things will run their oddly similar paths – trying to figure out what the hell I am doing. And knowing crap all about what the end goal is, really, but trying to live/learn/embrace the process.

Uncomfortable yet? I certainly am.

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