Always on

I need an off switch. Specifically for my brain, because it’s not letting me sleep enough. Not a new problem, but an annoying one all the same. Currently, I can’t sleep for shit. Or for any other reason. Some days I wonder if it matters and other days I wonder how it cannot.

Though, to be honest, my lineage speaks of light sleepers and nocturnal wanderings. My mom has never been much of a sleeper. My dad could sleep through just about anything. Guess where I land?

As a small child (young enough I don’t recall doing this) I would crawl out of bed in the middle of the night and my parents would find me curled up by the front door, like a puppy. Luckily I either couldn’t reach the lock, or didn’t know how to work it, so I never got out.

Now, I don’t wander, but lately have been having some hilarious antics while sleeping or nearing sleep. I kicked something off the coffee table trying to hurdle a fence in my dream. Luckily, I spared the plants. A few nights ago I was having this weird dream where I was trying to guide a family with 6 kids of various ages to the right parking lot. Don’t ask me why this featured in my dream, I couldn’t tell you. At any rate, another small child wandered through the dreamscape and the whole family freaked out and were chasing this tot, meanwhile, I’m all herding cats. Dream-Me decided that shouting at them was the answer. So shout I did – waking myself and my partner in the process. And there have been several instances of almost falling asleep, then jerking myself awake because I feel like I’m actually falling… weirdo.

However, fall is here, and it’s lovely. The days are growing shorter and the orange moon rests low and full this week. Trees color the hills. Mornings are slightly crisp and afternoons are sun-kissed. It’s flirting with raining here and there, but it may be my favorite season here. I’ll relish it while I can. As winter approaches, perhaps I’ll sleep more, as it’ll be dark from 4 pm on.

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