Along the way in this journey, one of the things that really interfered with my ability to move forward and keep my head were the anxiety attacks. Over time I’ve gotten a lot better at feeling that shit build up and finding ways to crank it down. It’s that crazy thing where if your mind and body are actually connected you notice the onset of things like anxiety much sooner.
And as I learned to recognize but not give into the building urge, I started being able to, instead of giving in and worrying about things I can’t control and worrying about what awful things would happen in the future because RIGHT NOW wasn’t perfect, just BREATHE AND FOCUS. Stay here. Stay now. Not in all cases, of course, but trying to ritualize and institutionalize that practice in my life. Breathe & focus. I decided I needed to offer myself the kindness of a gentle but constant reminder. Simple. So I found a recommended tattoo artist and set up time to talk.
Since it’s a message to myself, the tattoo reads vertically from my wrist toward my elbow on my inner forearm. My Scandinavian artist was super nice, taking the time to meet with me before, drawing it up in the complex font I chose, and making sure I was totally comfortable with placement, size, etc. he even touched up one letter for me once it was healed as he’d missed one TINY little line and therefore the 2 “E”s were slightly different. They aren’t anymore. I wear it proudly.