I hate sleeplessness. When I was in my 20’s it used to make me so MAD. Being furious is not conducive to sleeping.

I guess I’ve mellowed out a bit. Now I just lay there, awake, quietly. Ok, I also have a partner, who does sleep. So I usually hit the couch or just keep still. Me and insomnia, it’s a rivalry. A bitter enmity, if it must be known. Mated as we are, we just can’t quit each other, nor can we eliminate one another. It can’t kill me. I can’t escape it. I can’t, apparently, kill it either.

Author’s note: before anyone thinks I just need the right advice or right thing that I couldn’t have tried yet, don’t. I have tried ALL OF THE THINGS. From chamomile tea to CBD, melatonin to Ambien, been there, done it. Unless you are my friend LZ, I am not interested.

My brain doesn’t have an off switch. So maybe insomnia isn’t the bad guy here. Maybe I am. Or, more specifically, my brain is. Either way, talk about rude.

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